The Maid Quest
by Skytower
Summary: A talk show host is drawn into the Labrynth, along with Joy Bugaloo and Freddy Flute


The Maid Quest  
  
or   
  
The Adventures of Goblins  
  
Talk Show Host  
  
Knight Errants  
  
Bugaloos  
  
Witchie-poos  
  
and  
  
Golden Flutes named Freddie  
  
In The  
  
Labrynth  
  
  
  
"Take two." the director said, snapping his fingers.  
The man beside him punched a button and instantly the small color monitor showed a very worried face. Usually the director would linger on the face, for he always thought Jenifer Bass quite beautiful. It was a plain Jane face he knew. Small hazel eyes, slightly pointed nose and a flat mouth. Her near shoulder length brown hair was cut in bangs just above her eyes. But it was a face he often dreamed off as he slept next to his wife.  
"Take one." he snapped and the scene changed again.  
This time the monitor showed most of the converted living  
room/studio. "Tighten the shot." He growled. "I want the  
three on the couch."  
Obligingly the camera zoomed in to frame Jenifer,  
dressed demurely as usual in a blue dress, her friend/co-host Angela dressed in a loose blouse and jeans, and the well dressed young man waving a ceremonial knife infront of their faces.  
"The study of Goblinology has been maligned for ages." the man said.  
"Really?" Jenifer said, keeping her voice professionally courteous.  
That a girl, the director thought. Pinned on the  
directors sheet was the mans name, Brian Froud, and his  
occupation, a Goblinologist. When he had seen the occupation the director had been puzzled, until he recognized Marty's handwriting. As soon as the director had seen the man on camera he had called the police, the guy was too normal to be normal. He wore a brown tweed suit, and a mustache. His voice was clipped with an English accent. Any guy that Marty booked who looked that normal was going to be trouble.  
"Number two get out of Angela's dress." the director  
snarled. The monitor on camera two had shown a close up of Angela's ample cleavage.  
"Just last week I was called crazy. Can you believe  
that?"  
"No." Jenifer said, the knife hovering dangerously close to her nose.  
"Two get me a head shot of Jenifer. Take two." the  
director said, almost in the same breath. He was a pro, if that knife was going into his stars face he was going to get a shot of it.  
"I can't even get grant money." Brian said, his voice  
sounding pathetic even over the studio pick up mikes. "Is  
that fair?"  
"No." Jenifer and Angela said, almost at the same time.  
The audience, sitting in the bleachers built into Jenifer's garage, laughed.  
"Why are they laughing?" Brian demanded. "Are they  
laughing at me?"  
"Take one."  
"No..." Jenifer stumbled. "It's ah. um..."  
"It's Jen," Angela said, leaning over her friend and  
closer to Brian. "It's that funny way she has of talking."  
"Get out of her chest number two."  
"Oh." Brian said, giving Jenifer a sympathetic look.  
"What else do you have to show us?" Jenifer asked,  
gently pushing Angela back onto her side of the couch.  
"Well I have these." Brian said, reaching into his bag.  
"Two give me a shot of whatever he pulls out of there. Take two."  
The camera zoomed in and the screen was filled with two brass bracelets. Intricately, exsquisitely carved in bass relief they showed women washing, sweeping or serving a host of strange looking creatures.  
"Oh, those are...Jenifer trailed off for a moment. "nice."  
"These actually belonged the Goblin King's maid."  
"Really?"  
"Yes."  
"Here let me see those." Angela said.  
"Take one, two follow the bracelets."  
"It's an interesting story really," Brian said, relaxing in his chair he toyed with the knife as he talked. "The maid was actually from our world." He leaned closer to her and Jenifer found herself again facing the knife. "Goblins always get their serving wenches from our world, our women are always more pliable."  
"What?" Angela exclaimed. "The hell we are."  
"Compared with Goblin women I mean." Brian said,  
quickly. "Anyway the wench was a selfish girl who hated the fact that she had to look after her little brother. But when the goblin king took him to his castle at the center of a Labrynth she realized her parents would punish her if she left him there."  
How can he talk that long without breathing, the  
director thought, wondering if he should go to commercial  
before or after the lunatic was done raving. He decided to stay, Jenifer (bless her heart) looked interested.  
"So she went in and tried to get him. But by the time she got through the Labrynth he had been turned into a goblin and she ended up cleaning up after him again."  
"Dumb kid should have left him there." Angela muttered.  
"So how did you get these?" Jenifer asked, holding a  
bracelet in each hand.  
"I traded a baseball card for them at a swap meet. It seems that a wandering knight freed the maid, but then she betrayed him, and now he must wander the Labrynth for all time.  
"Why'd she do that?"  
"It's what women do, isn't it?" Brian said, bitterness evident in his voice. "It's what my wife did when she told me I could leave the hospital anytime I wanted." Dropping the knife on the table the man slumped back into his chair. "I showed her though, without me the aliens didn't come forChristmas Supper."  
The doorbell rang.  
"I'll get it." Angela called, leaping off the couch  
before Jenifer could even move.  
"Do people always drop in during one of your shows?"  
Brian asked.  
"Sometimes yes," Jenifer said, starting to edge away  
from him. "It's a hazard of doing your show out of a living room."  
"It's the icecream you ordered Jen."  
A tall man in a white coat entered the living room.  
"Two pan out and follow any fighting, one standby."  
"Your no icecream man!" Brian shouted. "Your one of the devils who keeps locking me up!" He turned to Jenifer. "You betrayed me! Well I'll show you!"  
Bending down out of camera range he grabbed something  
off the table and threw himself on Jenifer. The director's heart jumped into his throat as he heard Jenifer's scream. Had that crazy man plunged the knife into his Jenifer? Who would host the show? There was only one way to find out. His voice trembling the director called; "Take two!"  
  
  
Jenifer Bass grunted as she and Angela set the couch  
down. Then she flopped down onto it and surveyed the  
wreckage that had been her living room. A heavy sigh left  
her body and filled the room.  
"Now if your'gonna start that again I'm leavin." Angela said, handing her a beer. As usual a good brawl had her in good spirits. And it had been a brawl, involving not only Jen and her guest but the studio audience as well.   
"It's not that bad Jen, and you know insurance will cover most of the damage."  
"What about these?" Jenifer asked, holding up her wrist to show the two bracelets. "I was really scared when he reached for that knife Angela. I could have been killed."  
"Well you weren't were you?" Angela sat down beside her best friend. "And you can have those things off tomorrow."  
"I'd have them off tonight if the Derby Locksmith and  
Shoeshine company kept better hours." Jenifer complained,  
taking a gulp from the bottle.  
"Well I hate to say I told ya so..."  
"I know," Jenifer switched to an imitation of her  
friends southern drawl: "Never Let Marty Choose the Guest." she sighed again. "But after Madona canceled at the last minute..." she trailed off and leaned back, resting the bottle on her forehead.  
"Yea, I know, better than nothing." Angela stood up and headed toward the door. "I'll come buy tomorrow and help you clean up."  
"Thanks."  
"You want me to stay with you tonight?" Angela asked,  
concern showing in her voice. Jenifer didn't answer.  
"You might need some help when the goblins come for you."  
"Ha Ha." Jenifer said, some of the tension easing out of her voice.  
"We'll if they do come send em over to my house, a good fight puts me in the mood."  
Jenifer groaned at the Mae West impersonation and threw a cushion at the already closed front door. The she laughed and went to bed.  
  
  
The sky over Living Island was calm with only a light  
breeze. Joy used the breeze to glide, enjoying the caress of air flowing over her wings and around her body. To anyone who saw her, Joy would have been mistaken for a fairy, and indeed fairy's and bugaloos did share a common ancestry. But bugaloos are much bigger than fairy's, Joy herself was a little under five feet tall. Aside from the gossamer wings growing out of her back she looked human. Joy had deep blue eyes that almost took a persons gaze away from the rest of her face, which with it's pug nose and pert mouth could only be described as: cute. Her hair was a light brown mop, bobbed short and her body slim. She wore a sleeveless cream colored blouse and a short skirt. Silver sandles on her feet flashed in the sunlight.  
"We're almost there Freddie." Joy said, her voice  
"That's good, I hope Jimmy wasn't too worried." the  
diamond encrusted golden flute in her hand sounded anxious.  
"It hasn't been that long, I'm sure he just thinks that old witch has you."  
Freddie shuddered in her hand at the mention of his old foe. Joy held him tighter, not wanting to loose her grip. Freddie had been captured by Witchie-poo, an evil witch. She had been flying him back to her castle on her Vroom-Broom, when Pufnstuf, the draconian mayor of Living Island had summoned the West Wind. Witchie-poo had lost control of the Vroom-Broom and lost her grip on Freddie. Freddie had sailed on, passing from one wind current to the other until finally being deposited in Tranquility Forest. There both he and Joy had been captured by Banita Bazzar. They had escaped and Joy promised to take him home.  
  
  
Joy flew along cautiously, normally she would have been too scared to fly him back alone. But Banita was not the sort of person who gave up, and with the other bugaloos away at a folk festival Tranquility Forest was no refuge.  
Still Joy was worried, even with the Vroom-Broom out of action. In the few encounters the Bugaloos had had with Witchie-poo in the past, she had made it quite clear that she only liked them if they were on a plate with an apple in their mouths.  
A cloud passed overhead and Joy swerved back into the  
sunlight. A large bat shot past her, his arms just missing her feet.  
"Stop!" the bat shouted, to himself or Joy she didn't  
know.  
Another form dived out of the clouds, this time a large vulture. Joy curved up, and the bird missed her by inches.  
"That was Orson and Stupid Bat!" Freddie shouted. "They work for Witchie-poo."  
"She has servants that can fly?"  
"I forgot to tell you!"  
"Hang on!" Joy shouted, stuffing Freddie down the front of her blouse. She didn't hear the flute's muffled "How?", because the bat came at her again. Joy dived down, dropping almost to the tree tops. The vulture dropped in behind her, making a grab for her feet, but Joy pulled above him and stopped. Just as she did Stupid Bat came at her again. Joy dove into the trees, hearing the bat smash into a branch as he tried to follow her. Joy spotted Orson above her and made a sharp right, hoping to loose him. Instead she flew straight into a web.  
A big orange spider with multifaceted eyes was waiting for her. Almost before she could cry out Joy was hopelessly entangled.  
  
  
Willemina W. Witchie-poo was in many ways a stereotypical witch. She was ugly, with pea-green skin, a large pointy nose and a similarly pointed chin. The only way most people could tell the nose from the chin was that the chin had a wart on it. Her figure, though feminine, was hidden under dark ragged cloths and a torn cape. Her hair was rust red and she wore a black pointed hat. When she smiled most of her teeth were black. She smiled as Orson and Seymour the spider brought Joy into the main room of her castle.  
Scared was too light a word for what Joy was feeling.  
Seymour had wrapped her with webbing from head to toe. Her wings were numb and she was starting to loose feeling in her arms and legs. The spider and the vulture had made it clear that Witchie-poo wanted more than Freddie Flute. She was also hungry. The two flunkies carried Joy to the foot of the witch and then dropped her on the floor.  
"Where's my flute?" Demanded Witchie-poo.  
"What flute?" Joy stammered.  
"Look you overgrown moth," Witchie-poo reached down and grabbed the cocoon Joy had been sealed into, hauling her up so that the Bugaloo and the witch were face to face. Joy felt her teeth wilt under the witches breath. "when I ask you questions I better get answers." Her tone of voice changed to a parody of kindness. "Now where's my little Freddy-kins?"  
"I don't know?" Joy tried.  
Witchie-poo tried to let go of the bugaloo but her hand was stuck to the webbing. She braced it with her other hand and pulled it free, only to have the other hand get stuck.Growling the witch pulled both hands free, letting Joy fall to the floor. Taking rusty wand out from a pocket in her robes Witchie-Poo raised both hands to cast a spell.  
"Clapp, snap, make sure this bug is trapped!"  
From the four corners of the room the dust that covered most of the furniture in the castle stirred and flowed. It streamed toward the fallen bugaloo as if sucked by a vacuum cleaner. Mixing with Seymour's webbing to it flowed like quicksilver. When it was over Joy's wings were clamped into a metallic harness that held them awkwardly out from her back. The metal was inlaid with hundreds of tiny spiders. More of it formed into chains that held her wrist about a foot apart.   
"Haven't lost it." Witchie-Poo grunted to herself, surveying her work. Hauling the Bugaloo to her feet the witch snarled at her. "Now where's my flute?"  
"There it is, Chiefy." Orson cried, pointing to Joy's  
blouse. Witchie-poo took a closer look and saw Freddie's form pressing against the fabric.  
"Should've known." she said, reaching in and grabbing  
the flute. Witchie-poo held him up to her ear. "Are you  
still in good voice my little precious?"  
Freddie answered her with a loud, high pitched squeal. Stunned the witch dropped him and covered her ears. Joy lunged at the witch, grabbing both Freddie and the wand. Then she shoved Witchie-Poo over and ran, vanishing into one of the corridors leading to the interior of the castle.  
"Stop her you idiots!" Witchie-poo shouted.  
Orson and Seymour both started after Joy at once,  
running right into Witchie-Poo. The three went down in a  
tangle of arms, legs and wings.  
  
  
Joy turned a corner and crouched down against the wall, her heart pounding in her ears. Behind her she could hear Witchie-poo, Seymour and Orson searching for her. She tried to reach behind and undo the wing clamps but they held her wings straight out from her back. That was too awkward an angle to reach.  
"What do we do?" asked Freddie?  
"I don't know, we have to find a way out of here." And  
quickly, Joy thought. Bugaloos were not made for running.  
She was out of breath and her legs felt like lead. A small spider dropped in front of her face and Joy screamed and jumped back. She hit heavily against a wooden door,  
spraining her wings. The door opened a crack and moonlight streamed in through the opening. Joy didn't know where the door led too and didn't care. With all her might she pushed it open and fell through. She fell onto a hard bricked surface. Getting up Joy closed the door just as she saw Seymour coming toward it. She heard him thump against it and desperately looked for something to hold the door closed.  
Joy was in a small garden, one that had long been  
neglected from the look of it. A birdbath was pushed on it's side, the trees were all dead or sickly looking. Rushing over to the birdbath Joy rolled it over to the door and braced it with a rock. The door trembled as it was pounded on from the other side. Joy ran down the first path she saw, not wanting to be there when the door gave way.  
  
  
"Open that door!" Witchie-poo shouted.  
"We can't Witchie-poo," Orson replied, "she must have it  
braced on the other side."  
"Well get something to batter it down with!" Witchie-poo  
shouted, hitting him on the beak. "Do I have to think of  
everything around here?" Both Seymour and Orson ran down the corridor. "And hurry up, that door leads to the Labyrinth, if that over stuffed Jareth gets hold of either of them I'll never see my flute again!"  
  
Jenifer had woken out of a sound sleep to find her bed crowded with small shadowy forms. Panicked her first impulse had been to get out of the bed. She had launched herself upward only to be caught by the sheets. Bundled up in them and with a rolled up TV guide stuffed into her mouth, Jenifer had been carried along for what seemed like hours. Now, after a long and uncomfortable trip Jenifer was rolled out of her bedsheets and dumped on the ground. She spat the tv guide out of her mouth and lay there for a moment, a bit dizzy. There seemed to be no ground beneath her, at least no ground she could feel.  
"You hardly look fitting for a maid." A smoothly  
insolent voice remarked. Jenifer looked up to see a tall  
thin man, with moused blond/brown hair standing a little bit away from her. He was wearing skin tight grey pants with knee length black boots. A ruffled shirt, tight waist coat and short black cape, fastened at his neck with a diamond clasp, completed the picture of elegance. His face was thin, angular and his eyes a cold grey. This was Jareth, King of the Goblins. A small smile on his face he gazed intently at her. Jenifer, wearing a pair of green, Chinese style pajama's flushed scarlet.  
"I am not your maid." she said, standing up quickly and facing him.  
"Pity there's only one of you," Jareth said, ignoring  
her, "but I suppose you'll just have to work harder."  
"Hey! Excuse me. I said I am not going to be your  
maid. Who are you anyway?"  
"I am Jareth," he said with a small bow, "lord of this domain. And as long as you, Jenifer Bass, wear those," he indicated the bracelets, "you are mine to do with as I will. And I will you to be the maid of my castle, to cook, clean and sew."  
"You know who I am?"  
"Of course I do." He came toward her, his voice very  
much like the purr of a cat. "Occasionally I like to look  
into the mortal world."  
He snapped his fingers and a small goblin ran over to  
them, holding a parchment. The goblin looked a little like a junkyard dog, or a Disney character fallen on hard times.  
"Jenifer Bass." he read. "Married, but separated, no  
children, no active sex life..."  
"Hey!" Jenifer protested. The goblin ignored her.  
"Talk show host, syndicated, last rating was 2.5.  
Psychological profile indicates strong need to be liked, also strong maternal instincts."  
"Perfect for a maid." Jareth said, taking the parchment and looking it over.  
"I am not a maid!" Jenifer growled.  
"Oh I know." Jareth said, scanning down the parchment. "Infact you haven't been since..."  
"Give me that." Jenifer demanded, snatching the  
parchment. It dissolved in her hands.  
"I know who you are Mrs. Jenifer Bass." Jareth said.,  
With one finger he reached over and brushed Jenifer's hair  
off of her forehead. "I have watched your show from time to time. I know that most of the guest make you feel small. I know that you hope your husband will someday return, not because you have any love for him, but because you need someone to take care off. You let your brother-in-law stay in your driveway for that same reason."  
Jenifer desperately wanted to talk, but Jareth's voice and movements were hypnotic. She felt a part of herself begin to wan under the truth of his words.  
"I know you lay in bed alone at night and dream of ways to make your existence more exiting." he paused and smiled. "And I know, that you know you will never, ever do anything to make those dreams a reality. All this I know, and more."  
The Goblin King had been walking around her as he spoke, and now he came full circle and faced her again. Again his fingers reached for her forehead.  
"No!" Jenifer shouted, batting his hand away with one  
hand even as her other made a fist and socked him in the  
jaw. Jareth stumbled back a few steps, more surprised than hurt but it was Jenifer who fell down. For a few moments neither of them spoke.  
"A maid with spirit." Jareth said, and there was a smile in his eye as he said it.  
"I am not a maid!" Jenifer shouted, jumping to her feet.  
"Oh I know."  
The voice was back to a purr and Jenifer's face became scarlet once more as she realized what he meant.  
"Mrs. Bass," Jareth said, becoming very business like, "by the law of this land you are mine to do with as I will." he paused then added; "At least as far as employment matters are concerned. If you refuse my employ then you will be an outlaw in this land."  
"So what does that mean?" Jenifer demanded, trying to  
make her voice sound patronizing. "You'll lock me in a  
dungeon?"  
"Not at all, my dungeons have no unwilling guest. It  
means I will not protect you."  
It took a moment for his words to sink in. A cold  
breeze, or it might have been the mummer of laughter from the goblins around them made Jenifer shudder. She couldn't really see the goblins, only hear them. Infact she couldn't see much of anything except Jareth. Every time she tried to focus on something besides him the grey mist would rise and obscure it. But everything around her suggested menace.  
"I am not a ma... a domestic." Jenifer said firmly.  
"Very well." Jareth bowed and stepped backward, the mist rising as he moved. "But should you ever feel the need of food, shelter or clothing my castle lies in the center of the Labrynth. There also lies your only way home."  
With those words the Goblin King and his goblins faded into the mist as the mist faded into the dawn. Jenifer found herself standing next to a high stone wall. It stretch from one end of her horizon to the next. looking away from the wall she could see only desert. Beneath her bare feet was cold stone.  
  
The throne room of Jareth the Goblin King was an unholy mess. Empty boxes were strewn around, food that had been left out for centuries sat on tables. Goblins big, small,medium, alive or dead lay sleeping, gaming or fighting. In the center of it all sat Jareth, for once not minding the clutter or decay. In his hand a transparent ball showed the host of "My Talk Show" climbing the outer wall.  
A little more he thought, as she reached for another  
handhold. Jenifer's hand closed around a brick and she  
tested it for firmness before putting her weight on it.  
Jareth smiled and the mortar holding the brick suddenly  
turned to paste. The ball gave no sound but the look on the talk shows face as she fell was enough.  
"That's the fifth brick you've dislodged Mrs. Bass,"  
Jareth whispered, "surely even your not stubborn enough to  
try again."  
In the ball Jenifer climbed to her feet and hurled the useless brick against the wall. The started to climb once more. Jareth could see muscles tensing under the pajama's and for a moment the thoughts of the Goblin King turned in another direction.  
"Sire."  
Jareth did not stir nor say a word to Krun's entreaty. He knew who it was of course. Everyone in his palace was known to him ad nauseum. That was actually the problem, everything was known to him. Like all truly immortal beings Jareth had faced his share of foes. Hero's, Knights, Wizards and more. He had faced them all and for the most part won.  
But that had been long ago, when the worlds of fairy and man were close. But now the cosmic waves that moved worlds like so much driftwood at sea had pushed Earth and Fairy Land apart. The father apart they drifted the more the Goblin King began to face another foe. A foe Jareth could neither defeat, nor surrender too. Boredom. It laid down with him at night and woke with him in the morning, it made the air seem stale and the food a mere paste that coated his tongue and soured his stomach. In ages past Jareth would not have even bothered with Jenifer Bass. She was no maiden, nor was she a great beauty for him to seduce. But she was here.  
Jareth was about to turn the brick Jenifer was holding onto into a large bar of chocolate when he realized Krun was still standing beside him. The distraction was enough for Jenifer to finally get to the top of the wall.  
"What." the Goblin King growled, letting the spell ball dissolve.  
Krun shook a little at his masters tone but otherwise  
held his ground. This bothered Jareth, there should be no  
goblin who did not quake with fear of him. But Krun was a  
wizened old goblin who was chief of the guard. He was one of the very few who remembered the days before Jareth's rule. This stuffed the goblin with his own importance, and over the past few centuries his hubris had begun to annoy Jareth.  
"The door to Living Island has been opened!"  
  
Witchie-Poo sniffed the air and dug her toes through the worn soul of her boot and into the rock. It had been ages since she'd been out of her own domain. The witch felt the subtle differences in the fabric of reality and it was not a pleasent feeling. Hovering in the doorway Seymour and Orson did not even dare to speak.  
"Well, well."  
She turned and faced the Goblin King and for a moment  
that stretched into a minute witch and goblin watched each  
other. As power went they were equal, but Witchie-Poo knew that Jareth had the home ground advantage. Jareth for his part wondered if, with the world of man drifting away, if the fairy kingdoms would fall upon each other. It had happened before, and of late he had seen signs it would happen again.  
"What do you want fancy pants." the witch snarled.  
"That should be my question to you." Jareth answered  
calmly. He gestured at the wood splinters on the ground.  
"Doors are expensive you know."  
"Yea, I know." Witchie-Poo muttered. "But so's a good meal. My spider there caught a bugaloo and then let her get away."  
"A bugaloo?" Jareth asked, though it was not a question. Indeed he did not so much speak the word as he savored it.  
"My bugaloo tight pants." Witchie-Poo snapped. "My  
lacky caught her, I'm gonna eat her."  
Jareth smiled and the witch stood ready, for she knew  
that smile of old.  
"Well then do be careful, for more than one of our kind has lost her way in my Labrynth."  
For an answer Witchie-Poo let loose the same laugh that had so often terrified the creatures of Living Island.  
"Me? Get Lost?" she laughed again. "Just stay out of my way fancy pants!"  
Jareth smiled, bowed and vanished.  
"Orson, Seymour get over here."  
Both the spider and the vulture rushed over to Witchie-poo and she harshly rapped each of them on the head and the beak with her wand.  
"What was that for chiefy?" Seymour wailed.  
"Because I felt like it." Witchie-Poo barked.  
"What are we going to do oh glorious one?"  
"We aren't going to do anything you moth eaten pigeon." she snarled, stressing the first word. "I'm going after my flute. You two stay hear and make sure no one goes through that door. I smell a rat in tight pants. Now call out the guard and do what I tell you!"  
She smacked each of them one more time and then took  
off, raising an evil smelling cloud of dust in her wake.  
  
Jenifer moved the squares on the giant cube as quickly as she could, every so often sparing a glance at the door. The cube had numbers instead of letters, but she knew the rules of the puzzle readily enough. Get all the ones on one side, all the twos on another side and so on. This was the fourth door she had faced since she had managed to get over the wall. The first one opened easily to her touch, and she nearly fallen into a pit of spikes. The second one had a face carved into it and would only agree to open after an hour long session of knock-knock jokes. The third one had sung so beautifully and so hypnotically that Jenifer barely noticed when it stretch a clawed hand toward her neck. That fight had left her with splinters and a determination that no door was going to stop her again.  
But this door was in front of her, the sun and the light  
were fading fast and Jenifer was dead tired.  
"Darn it I'm not going to give up." Jenifer announced. The door was not impressed. It merely stood in her way. Angrily Jenifer manipulated the cube again. A few minutes later the puzzle was done and the door opened.  
Jenifer grunted in satisfaction and walked through.  
Once through the door dazzling sunlight blinded her. The  
temperature went up fifty degrees, the ground beneath her  
feet suddenly sloped away and with a surprised yelp Jenifer rolled down the hill and into the lake.  
Ice cold water chilled the talk show host to the bone and she desperately tore her way out of the water and on to the shore. Coughing she looked around. She was sitting on the shore of a small lake. Apple trees were all around, shading most of the lake from the hot afternoon sun. It was too much for Jenifer and she fainted.  
  
  
Jareth watched as Seymour and Orson, along with twenty or so guards fanned out in a pyramid shape from the door. Here perhaps was a way out of his boredom. A way far beyond Mrs. Jenifer Bass. Living Island, with it's talking trees, dragon's of mayoral rank and owls of giant intellect, now there was a challenge. And beyond Living Island was the possibility of Tranquility Forest. If indeed the fairy were about to enter into an age of war Jareth had no intention of waiting around to be attacked.  
But he was also not going to attack, not yet anyway.  
Krun was assembling the goblin kings own guard, and like any good general Jareth had no intention of fighting himself. Smiling the Goblin King faded into the mist.  
  
  
Joy crouched in the thorn bushes, trying to make herself invisible. In her hand Freddie didn't so much as hum. A squad of goblin knights, fully armored and armed milled about in the clearing. She had been resting and only heard them at the last minute. The silver and gold rosethorn bushes had offered the only refuge.  
A messenger ran up and said something to one of the  
knights. He barked an order and they quickly formed into a column and galloped away.  
"That was close." Freddie said, after they had gone.  
"What are we going to do?"  
"I don't know." Joy whispered in pain. The metal clamps holding her wings were like hot irons against bare skin. The thorns had torn her slippers to ribbons. Carefully she  
crawled out of the bushes, getting a few more cuts and  
tearing her dress a little more. Then she stumbled over to a vine laden fruit tree and collapsed against it.  
One of the fruits looked down at the hopeless pair and smiled.  
"If only I could fly." Joy said.  
"Oh you are in trouble, aren't you." Jareth said,  
allowing himself to be seen. Joy paled and started to get  
up, only to have the ground turn to ooze beneath her. The  
bugaloo sank to her waist, and would have kept sinking if a vine hadn't dropped down and wrapped itself around her.  
"Help!" Joy shouted, only to laugh a moment later. The vine was covered in soft fur and was tickling her.  
"Are you sure you need help?" Jareth asked.  
"Please help us." Freddie asked.  
"Remarkable." Jareth said, snatching Freddie from Joy's hand. "I've heard of you of course, but the tales really do not do you justice."  
"Help her please." Freddie pleaded.  
"Well of course." the goblin king said, as if his aid  
was never in doubt. "I'll help both of you get back home."  
He paused. "Providing you help me."  
"What do you want from us?" Joy managed to gasp put  
between laughs.  
"All you have to do is relax." Jareth purred, lightly  
resting his fingers on Joy's forehead. "And obey."  
  
  
Jenifer hadn't slept for long, or at least she didn't  
think she had. Hunger and the scent of the apples woke her. Rolling over on her back she shielded her eyes against the glare. The sun had not moved from it's high noon position, but in the Labrynth that could mean anything. Her pajama's were still damp, but again she wasn't sure that meant anything either. Jenifer read fairy tales in the public library every Saturday morning, she knew that time seldom followed the rules in such tales.   
"Marty Dissler I'm going to kill you." Jenifer groaned, sitting up. Every muscle and bone in her body ached. Her pajama's had faded from bright green to a dull lime. The legs were in shreds and she had to tie the blouse at her waiste. Struggling to her feet Jenifer picked one of the apples and started to eat it. Three bites into it she was asleep again.  
  
  
Something was jabbing her in the shoulder. Groggily  
Jenifer woke up, her dreams had been full of hungry shadows, each one seemingly more and more terrifying. As she opened her eyes Jenifer suddenly wished she was back amongst the shadows.  
A goblin, framed by the morning sun and armored in blood red steel loomed over at her. Jenifer didn't wonder how long she had slept this time. The only thing she was aware of was the lance that hovered inches from her face. Her eyes crossed trying to look at it and she refocused them on the goblin. He was mounted on a strange looking two legged beast that looked something like a snub nosed dinosaur. Beneath the visored helmet he wore Jenifer could see two bright blood red eyes. She couldn't meet those eyes and her's fled from the confrontation.  
"What is your name wench?" the goblin asked, bringing  
the tip of the lance to her throat.  
"J-J-Jenifer." she stammered, stumbling backward. The lance followed her until it pinned her back against a tree.  
Almost gently the tip pressed into her throat.  
"You have eaten of my fruit, I demand payment."  
"W-What do you want?" Jenifer asked, knowing that the  
only thing she had in her pockets were buttons torn from her pajama top.  
"I have need of a maid."  
"A maid?"  
"Aye, my castle's a mess and my slaves can't cook a  
bugaloo right to save their own skins." he gestured with the lance. "Come, you can start on the privy first."  
"Stop!"  
The goblin whirled around and Jenifer took the chance to roll away from him. She ducked behind the tree and looked out to see a brown fox, mounted on an English sheepdog stride into the clearing. The fox had a large white mustache, an eye patch over his left eye and he wore a brilliantly colored orange jerkin over a white shirt. A thin blue belt held up a pair of black pants and two small black boots completed the outfit. He had a staff in one hand and held onto the sheepdogs saddle with the other.  
"None shall molest a fair maiden while I, Sir Didymous still draw breath. Take heart delicate flower of womanhood," he called to Jenifer, "I shall dispatch this knave with the swiftness of righteousness."  
"Delicate flower of womanhood?" Jenifer repeated  
dumbly, a part of her numbed with shock that the fox could  
speak, let alone give compliments.  
"Shut up and fight!" the goblin shouted. Urging his  
stead to a gallop he charged the fox. Sir Didymous urged his sheepdog and the two foes came at each other with tremendous speed. Jenifer looked away, she didn't think the fox had much of a chance. He looked smaller and a lot less fierce than the goblin. Also he wasn't wearing any armor. There was a succession of clangs and crashes and when she looked back Jenifer saw the goblins stead heading out of the clearing at full speed. The goblin close behind it, being harassed by Sir Didymous. The fox continued to torment the goblin until they were at the edge of the clearing. Then he broke off and trotted happily back to Jenifer.  
"Greetings Milady."  
"Uh, Hello." Jenifer said, slowly she came out from  
behind the tree, feeling very self concious in her torn  
pajama's.  
"I am Sir Didymous," he announced, "protector of the  
right and meek."  
"Jenifer Bass, ah, talk show host. Thank you." she held up her hand and the fox drew back in horror.  
"The bracelets!" his voice became a snarl, echoed by the sheepdog. The dog reared up on his hind legs, and when he came down Sir Didymous held his staff as if to protect himself from a blow. "Heartless Wench! I shall not stay in thy cursed company!"  
With that he turned and galloped away, leaving Jenifer confused and a little bit frightened.  
"Hey... Wait... Mr... Sir... Cursed?"  
Jenifer started to go after the fox, then stopped, then started again. All at once her mind started working and she realized what was going on. Brian had been telling the truth, or at least as much of it as he had known. That fox must have been the knight from the story. Grabbing one of the apples for breakfast Jenifer ran off in the direction Sir Didymous had taken. If the fox truly was the knight from the story then he might know a way out of the Labrynth and back to Earth. If he knew that then Jenifer was going to find him.  
  
  
Joy and Freddie woke with a start, both trying to  
remember something, something important. The vine around her body started to tickle her again.  
"Help!" Joy screeched, desperately trying to get her  
breath.  
"Sure Buggy, I'll give you a hand."  
Horror overwhelmed Joy for a moment as she saw Witchie-poo standing by the clearing. But the vine was persistent and a few seconds later she was laughing again.  
"Make a deal with ya buggy." Witchie-Poo said, coming  
to the edge of the tree. "You give me back my flute, I'll  
get you out of there."  
"No!" shouted between laughs.  
"Suit yourself."  
"Give me to her Joy." Freddie said, his high pitched  
voice barely carrying over he laughter.  
"No Freddie, she'll just take you and leave me here."  
"Now that hurts," Witchie-Poo said, "don't you know that everyone can trust a witch?"  
"Please," the flute pleaded, "she just wants me. You'll die if you don't!"  
"No!" joy sobbed, only to laugh a moment after the word left her lips.  
"Well okay buggy. "the witch said, leaning against a  
rock. "I'll just wait around a few hours and dig you out."  
Laughing hysterically Joy reached up and grabbed another vine. It snaked down her arm, slipped under her blouse and started to tickle her stomach.  
"Throw me your wand!" Joy shouted  
"What?"  
"If you throw me your magic wand I'll throw Freddie to you." Joy gasped out between laughs. "That way I'll know you'll have to save us both!"  
"Not bad." Witchie-Poo admitted. "Okay."  
With a quick flip of her wrist she tossed the wand  
through the air and Joy caught it. Then the Bugaloo braced her self and threw Freddie back.  
"Are you all right my little Freddy-kins?" Witchie-Poo asked, her voice dripping with poison honey.  
"Help her!" Freddie said.  
"Help her?" Witchie-Poo repeated, pretending not to  
notice anyone. "Now how am I going to help anyone without my wand? You know I can't work any magic without it."  
"I'm not giving it back!" Joy yelled out between laughs. "Any you'll never make it through the Labrynth without it!"  
Suddenly Witchie-Poo let out a laugh that was so  
chilling that even the vines tickling Joy froze for a moment. Reaching into her boot she pulled out another wand.  
"Always carry a spare Buggy!" she called out. Laughing again the witch skipped and danced her way out of sight.  
  
  
Though Jenifer Bass kept herself in good shape there was no way she could compete with a battle trained sheepdog. Especially without sneakers or shoes. Sir Didymous and his steed were out of sight even before she had broken into a run, by the time she collapsed against a wall Jenifer knew she had no hope of catching them. Eating the apple she tried to think out her next move. She could continue to search for the knight, she could try for the castle again or she could find a nice knife and plunge it into Jareth's chest when she saw him.  
The last was a fantasy that eased the soreness in her  
body and she was well into it when she heard the scream. The terror in the scream propelled Jenifer into a standing  
position, her heart stopping. But the near hysterical  
laughter that followed it made her stumble. She waited and it was repeated, a yell of pain and terror followed by peals of girlish laughter. They were definitely from the same person. Cautiously Jenifer followed the strange sounds.  
A few minutes later she parted the bushes and saw a  
strange sight, even stranger than what she had seen in the  
Labrynth so far. A young girl, with wings on her back stood up to her knees in some sort of greenish bog. The instant Jenifer saw the wings she thought: "fairy". A little above her were some blue furry vines that hung from a red tree. Two of the vines hung down from the tree and were wrapped around the girls stomach. Jenifer could see them moving under the girls tunic. Everytime she laughed her wings moved, but were pulled out of shape by some harsh looking iron clamps attached to them. She was sinking into the bog, slowly but definitely sinking.  
Her screams and the look on her face washed through  
Jenifer's heart and any rational thought was quickly drowned. Running out of the bushes she ran straight into the mud, grabbed the girl around the waist and pulled. There was a slurping sound and the fairy popped out of the bog. The suddenness of it caught Jenifer off guard, the girl was as light as a feather. Reaching up Jenifer grabbed a low hanging branch and used it as a brace as she walked back to solid ground. No less than five of the blue furry things snaked down from the tree and roamed over her body, but Jenifer just kept going. The tree gave up when she and Joy were on solid ground and in sunlight. Jenifer set the bugaloo down and pulled the blue vines off of her, throwing them back into the bog. Out of the corner of her eye see saw them climb back into the tree, and she could have sworn the vines looked disappointed.  
It pays not to be ticklish, the talk show host told  
herself, thankful the vines couldn't reach her feet.  
A small hand squeezed her and Jenifer looked down to see that the fairy was still in pain.  
"Please," she pleaded, "my wings hurt so..."  
Rolling her over Jenifer looked at the clamps. They  
ran the length of each wing and connected to each other with a series of wires. Two clasped on each wing held them in place. Carefully Jenifer undid them and eased the clamps off. Joy cried out in pain as her wings were freed, then passed out.  
  
  
Not knowing what else to do Jenifer had carried Joy to the lake and waded into the water. Bending down she eased the bugaloo under the surface, keeping only her head above the water. The wings looked burned, and cool water was the only thing she could thing of. She was relieved to see the look of pain on the fairy's face fade. The fairy was shorter than Jenifer, wearing the remains of a silver tunic. A pouch hung from a brown belt around her waist.  
"Well, you seem to have found a friend."  
"What do you want." Jenifer said keeping her voice  
steady and making a point of not making it a question.  
"Do I need to want anything?"  
Joy groaned and started to wake up. Opening her eyes  
she saw the goblin king. With a shriek of fright she flapped her wings, going straight up. She got about five feet before her wings gave out and the bugaloo fell back into the water. Coughing and sputtering she dove behind Jenifer.  
"Do you charm everyone you meet like this?" Jenifer  
demanded harshly. "Don't worry." she said to Joy.  
"Everything's going to be alright."  
Jareth's laugh infuriated the talk show host and she  
stormed out of the water to face him.  
"What's so funny?"  
"My dear Mrs. Bass, you are. Here you are, alone,  
hungry, lost, no weapons, " he glanced at her torn pajama's, they were soaking wet and sticking to her skin, "barely dressed," Jenifer felt her self blushing but held steady, "and you still find someone to protect." he laughed again. "What a fine maid you will be."  
"I don't care if I starve and have to streak naked."  
Jenifer declared. "I am never going to clean your castle."  
"Then perhaps you would entertain a different bargain." Jareth said. Walking over he leaned against the tree. "Joy." he indicated the bugaloo and she quickly scuttled behind Jenifer. "Brought a friend into the Labrynth. A golden friend. I will trade you your freedom for the flute."  
"You want a flute?"  
"You'll never get Freddie!" Joy shouted.  
"Not unless you hurry." Jareth said. "Since Witchie-Poo is even now carrying him back to Living Island."  
"Wait a minute." Jenifer said. "Are you telling me I  
have to get something from a witch before I can get home?"  
"It is a common bargain." Jareth agreed. "But I will  
add one more to it. Give me the bugaloo."  
"Your kidding."  
"No. Cook me one meal, with her as the main course, and I will return you to your show."  
"Cannibal." Jenifer spat the word at him.  
"My dear Mrs. Bass, it's only cannibalism if the meal is the same species. Consider my proposition."  
With that he faded from sight.  
  
Joy worked her wings slowly and looked closely at her  
protector. The woman did not look like a witch. She was  
pretty, with shoulder length brown hair. Her face was sharp, with the chin slightly pointed, but there was no sign of a wart on it. Her eyes, though narrow were kind. She was barefoot, wearing a faded green shirt and pants, both covered with mud.  
"Are you alright?"  
"I feel better." Joy said, after a slight hesitation.  
"Thank you, you must be a mighty witch to challenge Jareth."  
"I'm not a witch," the woman said, matching Joy's  
hesitation, "I'm a talk show host."  
"Oh."  
For a moment there was silence. The woman watched her closely, staring really. Joy looked down at herself.  
"Is something wrong?"  
"Uh, no. Not really." the woman stuttered. "I've just never seen a fairy before."  
"Oh, I'm a bugaloo."  
"A Bugaloo?"  
"Joy." she said, extending her hand.  
"Jenifer Bass." the woman said, taking it.  
"Your a human aren't you?"  
"Yea... Of course." Jenifer said.  
"A human!" Joy whispered, staring at Jenifer as the talk show host had stared at her. "A real human." Jenifer  
flushed and Joy quickly looked away.  
"I'm sorry." Joy said. "forgive me for staring but  
there hasn't been a human able to cross the world barriers  
for years. We thought the worlds had drifted too far apart.  
"We?"  
"The Fairy World."  
"But you said you were a bugaloo."  
"A bugaloo is a type of fairy."  
"Oh."  
Again there was an awkward silence. Joy stood up and  
tested her wings. She rose into the air a few feet, to the astonishment of the woman, and then settled back down.  
  
Bugaloo's are a type of fairy. A part of Jenifer would not accept it. But it was here infront of her. Or rather she, Joy, was infront of her.  
"How did you get into the Labrynth?" Joy asked.  
"I let my brother in law pick the guest." Jenifer said with a sigh. Seeing that the Bugaloo didn't understand Jenifer showed her the bracelets and told her story.  
"The first human to crossover in years and he wants a  
maid?" Joy exclaimed.  
"Good helps hard to find I guess. What about you? How did you..."  
"Freddie!" Joy shouted. Jenifer whirled around,  
expecting somebody to be behind her.  
"My friend Freddie Flute!" Joy said.  
"The gold one Jareth was talking about?"  
"Yes, we have to save him."  
"How? I'm no witch remember?"  
"But you must have some power to be so brave." Joy  
insisted.  
"It's called foolishness." Jenifer said.  
"You can use my magic." Joy said. Opening her pouch she pulled out a striped wand and a small book.  
"Why can't you use your magic?"  
"Bugaloo's aren't allowed to use magic outside of  
Tranquility Forest."  
"Oh." There was something different about Joy's face as she explained. It was like a shadow flying across the sun. Then it was gone and Jenifer was looking through the book.  
"I'll find them and come back for you." Joy said, taking off.  
Jenifer felt fragmented as she watched her new friend  
fly off. Not so much like she was experiencing what was  
happening, more like she was playing a computer game. She  
sat against the tree, looking through the book. It was  
pretty straightforward, with hand gestures and magic phrases. It even had a title page and the equivalent of a library of congress card catalog number. Reading as fast as she cold Jenifer covered half of it before Joy's return.  
  
  
"Get out of my way you flea bag!" Witchie-Poo shouted. "I've got an invasion to stop!"  
"Nay witch!" the knight answered. "For I have told thee that only alone may you leave this place."  
Around them smoking holes littered the ground, trees and bushes were broken and scattered. Piles of dust that were once rocks smoked ominously. Sir Didymous held himself high on the sheepdog, though both were panting. Witchie-Poo was tired too, her hands were shaking. In one hand was a wand like the one Jenifer was holding. In the other a solid gold flute, encrusted with diamonds.  
Jenifer and Joy watched the battle from a small rise  
some thirty feet away.  
"Tally Ho!" Sir Didymous shouted, raising his staff.  
Ambrosius was off like a shot, just a second behind the  
lightning bolt from Witchie-poo's wand. Joy and Jenifer  
ducked down to avoid the debris. The battle raged on, every so often the knight would move in and rap the witch with his staff. Try as she might Witchie-Poo could not hit the sheepdog, but she could make the going hard for him. At one point Ambrosius stumbled and fell, but Sir Didymous batted  
away the witches lightning bolt with his staff.  
"Got it." Jenifer said. She had been skimming through the magic book furiously, and finally a spell had made sense to her.  
"Can you get the flute out of her hand?" Joy nodded and Jenifer let her go. The Bugaloo flew straight up, almost out of sight and then dove. She streaked into the clearing a white blur and hit Witchie-Poo in the stomach like a cannon ball. As the fell Joy grabbed Freddie out of the witches hand and flew up again as fast as she could.  
"Sneeze, Breeze I order you to Freeze!" Jenifer cried, jumping up and casting the spell before Witchie-Poo could recover. There was a flash of light and smoke and when it cleared Witchie-Poo stood still as stone in the middle of the clearing.  
"Tally...ho?"  
  
  
"Are you alright?" Joy asked, clutching Freddie in her hand. They were about eighty feet above the ground and Joy finally felt save.  
"I think so. How did you get out of that bog?"  
"A human helped me."  
"A real human?" the flute sounded awed. "Does that mean humans are back?"  
"I don't..." Joy started to say she didn't know when  
sounds of a new battle could be heard below them.  
  
  
"I am not a witch?" Jenifer shouted, launching another spell at the knight. She had come down the rise to make sure Witchie-Poo wasn't faking and Sir Didymous had attacked her. Jenifer had tried reasoning at first, but all that got her was more raps from the knights staff. Jenifer felt the pain in her side and guessed that a large purple bruise was spreading out from the rib. She hoped it hadn't been broken.  
"Surrender foul one!"  
"I'm not a witch!" Jenifer shouted again, raising the  
wand. For once she was focused, the surreal feelings of only a few minutes before were gone. "I'm not the one who trapped you here! I'm here to help!"  
"I believe you not!" Sir Didymous proclaimed and  
charged again. Planting her feet Jenifer stood ready to  
launch another spell.  
"Stop!" Joy shouted, diving between them and throwing  
her arms out. Jenifer stumbled and fell flat on her back and the knight was nearly thrown from his steed.  
"He started it." Jenifer insisted, sitting up. She said it a little guiltily, remembering how mad she had been at the knight. How easy it had been to use the wand.  
"I?" The knight protested. "I am not the one who..."  
"Well I'm not either." Jenifer said, getting to her  
feet and holding up her arms. The bracelets glinted  
mockingly at her. "The only reason I'm wearing these is  
because I let Marty chose the guest. My name is Jenifer  
Bass, I'm a talk show host from Dirby, Wisconsin."  
"Wisconsin?"  
"She's telling you the truth." Joy said, landing nest to her friend.  
Sir Didymous sat in silence for a few moments, looking closely at her. Then he dismounted and solemnly walked over to Jenifer. Taking off his hat he preformed a courtly bow.  
"My lady Jenifer I must sincerely beg your pardon. For so long have I wandered the Labrynth, it seems my mind has wandered from me. I humbly beg your forgiveness and hereby pledge all in my power to serve you."  
"It's... It's all right, really." Jenifer said.  
"Please get up." Sir Didymous rose and Jenifer got a good  
look at him for the first time. He really was a fox, but one that seemed to have been anthropomorphized. Instead of whiskers he had a long white mustache, he stood on legs that seemed to have been bent so that he could walk upright. Two fingers and a thumb were on each hand. His eyes were deep brown and full of idealistic zeal. Quite unreasonably Jenifer liked him.  
"Jenifer this is Freddie." Joy said, holding up the  
flute.  
"Pleased to meet you."  
"Um... Hello." Jenifer replied, starting to lift her  
hand. She dropped it, realizing that Freddie had no hands. The flute was as human like as the fox. It's mouth was surrounded by diamonds, and the metal moved like some claymation production. The eyes were also encircled by small diamonds, but they held a soft, gentle quality. The last time Jenifer had seen eyes like that had been when she had interviewed Claudette Colbert.  
"Thank you for saving me, your very good with that  
wand."  
"Yea, I am." Jenifer agreed, again feeling power run  
through her. Out of the corner of her eye she looked at the  
statue that was now Witchie-Poo. "Come on, lets get out of  
here before it wears off."  
"But where can we go?" Joy asked.  
"I have an excellent suggestion."  
As one they turned to see Jareth standing at the foot of the path.  
"I really must apologize Mrs. Bass." Jareth said, moving toward them. "I have underestimated you." Jenifer and the rest of them stood aside as he examined Witchie-Poo. "In the course of two days you have solved many of my puzzles, freed a bugaloo and now learned magic." He turned and faced her. "I do applaud your efforts."  
"And what other gifts you bring me." he purred, looking at Freddie and Joy.  
"Leave them alone." Jenifer said, stepping infront of  
them.  
"Why? Do you seek to challenge me?" He looked into her eyes and Jenifer felt herself slipping into him.  
"We all do." Sir Didymous proclaimed, standing beside  
Jenifer. "By strength of arms we shall defeat thee."  
"I do not fight by strength of arms." Jareth said,  
taking a step back. "My contest are magical in nature."  
"I bet they are." Jenifer said. "And I bet your a lot better at them than I am." she raised the wand.  
"A safe bet indeed." Jareth replied.  
"But I bet she's better than I am too." Pointing the  
wand at Witchie-Poo Jenifer shouted: "The bonds of evil bring naught but distress, so now let those bonds disperse!"  
In an instant Witchie-Poo was free, standing infront of Jenifer. Jareth stepped back, a snarl on his normally placid face.  
"Try to take my flute will ya." the witch spat the  
words, raising her wand.  
"Decrepit old hag!"  
"Fancy Pants!"  
  
  
"Get down!" Jenifer shouted, pushing Joy to the ground as mystical energy filled the air. Jareth and Witchie-Poo launched spell after spell, always canceling each other out. Jenifer wasn't sure how long they would last, but she was sure the winner would be weakened.  
"Bravo my lady." Didymous shouted, taking cover with her and Joy. "A truly masterful strategy."  
"But what do we do with whoever wins?" Freddie asked.  
"We need help." Joy said. "Sir Didymous do you know the way to Living Island?"  
"Of course." the fox replied.  
"Take Freddie and get help from Puff-n-Stuff." Joy  
handed him the flute. "Neither of them can handle a dragon."  
"Right Ho." Didymous said, taking the flute he leapt on to the sheepdog. "I shall return forthwith."  
In a few moments he was out of sight.  
Jenifer watched him go and then turned her attention  
back to the battle. It was truly a draw, with spells meeting and killing each other in spectacular displays of color.  
"This could go on for days." Jenifer said.  
Joy was silent and Jenifer glanced over at her. The  
cloud was once more over the bugaloos face. Without a word Joy grabbed the wand away from Jenifer and launched a  
lightning bolt against the witches unprotected back. It  
struck and for a moment Witchie-Poo was vulnerable. It was a moment that would stretch into eternity. Jareth's spell enveloped her and when the smoke cleared there stood a new statue in the Labrinth.  
"Joy!" Jenifer exclaimed. "What did you do?"  
"What she was ordered to do Mrs. Bass." Jareth said,  
walking over to them. He held out his hand and a glassy eyed Joy gave him the wand. "Though I must admit this is not quite what I had planned. Your freeing Witchie-Poo was a masterstroke."  
"What did you do to her?" Jenifer demanded. She waved her hand infront of Joy's face. Joy ignored it and stared blankly at the world.  
"Hypnosis, the oldest form of magic. You see I didn't really want to fight the old hag. We were so evenly matched it would have been a waste of energy. But you, a human, a heroine. You were perfect. All you needed was a little power."  
"I bet you love to play chess."  
"Of course."  
Jenifer took a deep breath, calming herself down.  
"Alright what now? Freddy's long gone."  
Jareth shrugged.  
"I have my own music. But it was necessary to get the knight out of the way. He is a hero, and they are always an annoyance."  
"He'll be back."  
"My dear Mrs. Bass, getting into my Labrynth is almost as hard as getting out." He raised his hand. "Come Joy."  
"Wait a minute." Jenifer said, holding Joy back. "What are you going to do with her?"  
"Eat her." Jareth said simply. "The wings are  
particularly succulent."  
"No you don't." Jenifer grunted, pulling Joy back. She succeeded only for a moment, then the bugaloo passed through her arms like smoke and reformed at Jareth's side.  
"Wait!" Jenifer shouted.  
Jareth waited, a smug expression on his face. Jenifer looked into his eyes and knew defeat.  
"Me for her." she said simply.  
"No."  
"What?"  
"Mrs. Bass if I were to let Joy go I would in short time have an army of hero's at my door. That would be too much trouble just for one maid."  
"Well, wipe her mind clean then." Jenifer said. "You  
can do that."  
Jareth nodded.  
"I could, but then I would still have you to deal with. Plotting, scheming. Planning escapes."  
"Ok, ok." Jenifer said. Carefully she took Joy's hand and eased her away from him. Gently she brushed the buggaloos hair from her eyes. Joy reminded Jenifer so much of Cookie, her younger sister. "Here's the deal. You send her home, unharmed and I promise not to try and escape, stir up revolt or do anything like that. I'll just be a maid."  
"No poisoning, no knife in the back? No attempt to harm me in anyway?"  
"I promise." Jenifer said.  
"Done." Jareth smiled. Joy suddenly shrunk until she  
was sealed into a crystal ball. With a gentle puff of his  
breath the goblin king sent the ball on it's way.  
Jenifer watched until she was out of sight. Then turned back to him. Jareth smiled and suddenly they were in his kitchen. It was a kitchen made from the deepest nightmares of the most idealistic health inspectors. But it was not the garbage that made the new maid moan.  
"Oh please." Jenifer said, looking down at herself. She was suddenly wearing a french maid costume complete with cleavage, mini-skirt, fishnet stockings high heels and a feather duster. "I'm just a maid." she said sternly, realizing it might be the last time she could draw a line in the sand.  
"I'm sorry," Jareth gave her the sort of smile a cat would give a mouse, "you'll only have to wear that when you serve food."   
The outfit vanished and was replaced by a long brown skirt and grey shortsleave blouse. A grey apron completed the outfit. "This is more suitable for cleaning. I will expect dinner at seven."  
He vanished and, after a sigh Jenifer started to pick up the mess.  
  
  
End. 


End file.
